Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
