Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
