Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Houston, we have a squirter
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
