i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
