Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
