I could have mohawked her pubes.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
