hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
