dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
