no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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