I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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