I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
