I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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