During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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