people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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