At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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