All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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