Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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