Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
