i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
