I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
