Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
