If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
