i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
