Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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