note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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