he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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