she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
