dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
