Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
