how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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