I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Randomize
