Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
