he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
