so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
