your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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