So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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