her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
