Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
