last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
