i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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