the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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