We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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