My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
