We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
