What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
