in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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