Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
But break dance skills will only take you so far
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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