We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
