I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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