Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl

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(503): View more from Oregon

I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.

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(302): View more from Delaware

just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day

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(989): View more from Michigan

in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.

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(773): View more from Illinois

What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers

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